Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Siesta Key Beach Battle Looms: There Will Be Blood

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Siesta Key residents have begun digging in on the beaches of this sleepy little village, vowing to fight to the last man to keep the sand ...
Saturday, April 25, 2009

Discussions To Prevent Total Global Economic Collapse Put On Hold While World Debates Pros, Cons Of Susan Boyle Makeover

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World leaders have put on hold their last-ditch efforts to save the world from complete and utter financial collapse to focus of the most pr...
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Child Evangelist Cancels Revival in Palmetto; Goes Into Seclusion

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The handlers of child prodigy evangelist, Yarnell Waddle, have abruptly canceled their old-fashioned tent revival that had been scheduled f...

Pirate Attack Hero Feted With Parade Down Main Street In Lakewood Ranch, Later Ordered Off Private Property

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Local merchant seaman turned hero, 54-year old Ken Quinn of Lakewood Ranch, was honored by the community with a gala parade down Main Stree...
Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Madonna and Angelina Vying To Adopt Captured Somali Pirate, Catfight Looms

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Pop star Madonna, recently rebuffed in her bid to adopt a young Malawi boy, is apparently determined to find a replacement and has...
Monday, April 20, 2009

SH-T Writes Anti-Violence Op-Ed; Enraged Gun Owners Storm Offices, Shoot Staff, Burn Building, Now Feel Safer

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On Sunday, the Trib published this editorial decrying the recent spate of gun violence. As expected, the ever-vigilant 2nd Amendment Milit...
Sunday, April 19, 2009

Internet Singing Sensation, Susan Boyle, Named As 'Other Woman' In Mel Gibson Divorce

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Robyn Gibson, soon to be ex-wife of noted actor, Mel Gibson, has told media outlets that her 28-year marriage is over because of his dallian...