I Came To Sarasota For The Waters

Unconfirmed reports on unfounded rumors from unsubstantiated sources concocting preposterous innuendo

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Obama 'Beer Summit' Causes White House Rift, President's Whereabouts Unknown

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President Obama's conciliatory meeting with Harvard professor, Henry Louis Gates, and Cambridge, Mass. policeman, Sgt. James Crowley, to...
Monday, July 20, 2009

Ex-Marine Fights Off Mountain Lion With Chainsaw; Marine Commandant Issues Apology

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From the Associated Press CODY, Wyoming - Wielding his chain saw as a weapon, a former U.S. Marine says he fought off a starving mountain li...
Sunday, July 19, 2009

Florida Dentist Drops Dental Tools Down Patient's Throat During Procedure, Now Suing For Their Return

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Winter Park dentist, Dr. Wesley Meyers, admits dropping an implant screwdriver tool down a patient's gullet during a procedure in 2006, ...
Saturday, July 18, 2009

Secret Nude Video Of Sexy Sportscastress Reveals More Than Expected

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The sports world is reeling today after the secret video of sideline siren, Erin Andrews, was leaked to the press. The shocking video, purp...

Captain Obvious' Tip Of The Day

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The Captain says : The next time you, a middle-aged white guy, get robbed by two armed men at 6:30 in the morning while you're trying t...
Friday, July 17, 2009

Pope Benedict Breaks Wrist In Fall, Secretly Receives Bionic Arm in Italian Hospital

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Pope Benedict XVI reportedly slipped in his bath and broke his wrist while vacationing in northern Italy. Like who hasn't used that excu...

Sarasota Cops Give Man $400 Payoff, Attorney Decries Lack of Client's Constitutional Rights, Legal Ethics, Professionalism, Human Dignity and His Fee

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The Herald-Tribune revealed today allegations of a $400 payment being offered to a Sarasota man who was videotaped being beaten by police. ...
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One-Eyed Dick
The Culture Capital of FLA, The Sunshine/Funshine State, United States
I relocated to Sarasota several years ago. They said it was the promised land; paradise, if you will. But, like Rick Blaine observed when he was told that Casablanca was in the desert and had no water, "I was misinformed." Oh, there's water here, all right. It's just that it's filled with sharks, alligators, red tide, snakes, hurricanes, snobs, scammers and real estate developers, redneck crackers and the moneyed elite. Casablanca only had Nazis. Ha!
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