I Came To Sarasota For The Waters

Unconfirmed reports on unfounded rumors from unsubstantiated sources concocting preposterous innuendo

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Venerable Downtown Sarasota Book Seller Closing, To Be Replaced With Adult Books and Movies

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The much beloved and loquaciously-lamented loss of Sarasota News and Books to the harsh realities of capitalism by the local literati is abo...

Scooter Gangs Take Over Englewood To Protest Arrest Of One of Their Own, Gov. Crist Mulls National Guard Intervention

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The arrest of notorious scooter gang kingpin, Herb "The Leg Buster" Jean, 80, has sparked an all-out war in the normally sleepy vi...
1 comment:
Friday, August 28, 2009

FLA Gov. Charlie Crist Scores Political Hat Trick, Picks Hockey Great Mario Lemieux For Vacant Senate Seat

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"Now playing in the United States Senate for the State of Florida, number 66, Mariooooo Le-myooooo!!" Gov. Charlie Crist rocked th...
Thursday, August 27, 2009

Tragedy Strikes Ted Kennedy Motorcade

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The motorcade carrying the body of Sen. Ted Kennedy from Hyannis Port to the John F. Kennedy Library in Boston was struck by tragedy today, ...
1 comment:
Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Karma Bites Richmond Woman in Ass: "So What," You Ask?

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Robin Starr, the CEO of the Richmond Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, was bitten directly on the ass by karma recently. Ms...

Obama Takes Lead in Death Panels, KILLS Ted Kennedy

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Conspiracy theorists, long ridiculed for being nothing more than off-the-wall eccentrics, have finally been vindicated with the revelation t...
Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Court Orders Space Shuttle Launch Delayed Due To Noise Ordinance Complaint; NASA Future In Jeopardy

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This morning's 1:10 AM launch of the space shuttle Discovery was postponed hours before liftoff when Titusville magistrate, Nedlow Barn...
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One-Eyed Dick
The Culture Capital of FLA, The Sunshine/Funshine State, United States
I relocated to Sarasota several years ago. They said it was the promised land; paradise, if you will. But, like Rick Blaine observed when he was told that Casablanca was in the desert and had no water, "I was misinformed." Oh, there's water here, all right. It's just that it's filled with sharks, alligators, red tide, snakes, hurricanes, snobs, scammers and real estate developers, redneck crackers and the moneyed elite. Casablanca only had Nazis. Ha!
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