I'm Clay Duke and I'm The N.R.A.

I'm Clay Duke.  On Tuesday, I interrupted a Panama City School Board meeting by painting a big red "V" in a circle on the wall, then pulled out my Smith & Wesson automatic pistol and waved it around.  I blamed the School Board for firing my wife from her teacher's job and threatened to kill them all.  Being the consummate gentleman, though, I told the lone female on the board that she could leave, then continued to hold my trusty piece in the board president's face.

While I was making my point, that sneaky bitch that I let leave the room, crept back in behind me and pummeled me with her purse.  That freakin' purse must have weighed a ton, it hurt so bad.  Those things should be outlawed.  I should have plugged her right then and there, but, like I said, I'm a gentleman.

Instead, I leveled old Betsy and squeezed off a couple shots at the rest of the board members sitting there for not warning me that the crazy bitch was about to hit me with a surprise purse attack. 

I'll never know how the hell I missed them all.

Then, out of nowhere, comes a security guard and plugs me.  I return fire, but, once again, don't hit a thing.  Unbelievable, huh?

He hits me a couple more times and I figure the jig is up, so I put the gun to my head and pull the trigger, thinking that since I haven't hit a thing all day, I'll probably miss again.

I didn't.

I'm the N.R.A.......