Saturday, July 9, 2011

Derek Jeter Seeks Variance For "Emergency" Addition To Tampa Home

Yankee shortstop, Derek Jeter, reached the milestone of 3,000 base hits on Saturday before an adoring throng of New York faithful. He drove a ball over the left field wall for a memorable exclamation point on his achievement.

Following his triumphant return to the Yankee dugout, he was seen talking on the telephone. After the game, a reporter asked Jeter if he had a call from the president or some other famous celebrity congratulating him on this momentous occasion.

"No," he calmly replied, "I had to call my lawyer. I need him to start proceedings to get me a zoning variance right away on my place in Tampa so I can put a couple of thousand more square-foot addition on it."

When the reporter observed that Jeter, a bachelor, had just recently finished construction on the $7.7 million, 30,000 square foot house on the ultra-exclusive community of Davis Islands, the slugger responded, "Yeah, but that was before all this. I'm gonna need that extra room just to hold my ego................"

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