Sunday, June 6, 2010

Woman Sells Drugs Hidden Inside Her Body or The Vagina Catalogs

Authorities have charged Katrina Wade, an inmate at the Charlotte County jail, with selling bags of heroin that were stashed inside her vagina to other inmates. Corrections deputies did not perform a full cavity body search on the suspect when she was brought to the jail, even though the arresting detective was alerted that Wade had up to 100 bags of smack in her snatch. Said one deputy, "We deal with the very worst of society has to offer on a daily basis here. We work with killers, rapists, child molesters and the occasional jaywalker. We go where even the bravest of men fear to tread. But there's just some places even we won't go--and rummaging through that woman's fish farm is one of those places."

Six days after her initial booking into the jail, a contingent of corrections deputies in full haz-mat body gear and a drug-sniffing dog went to Wade's cell to conduct a cavity body search. Prior to the search, the inmate removed a 33-gallon, heavy-duty trash bag from her bajingo containing 12 smaller bags of heroin, at which time the police dog threw up and 2 of the 5 deputies in attendance fainted.

As a result of the examination of Wade's whisker biscuit, deputies said they also retrieved three cartons of cigarettes, several cans of Bud Light, half of a tuna-on-rye sandwich, some mis-matched patio furniture, part of the superstructure of the Deepwater Horizon oil-drilling rig and a rusty Louisiana license plate.

Sheriff's deputies celebrate their safe return from Katrina Wade's full cavity body search, although medical personnel warn that they may suffer bouts of post-traumatic stress disorder later in their lives. One of the men has already been placed on a suicide watch.

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