BP has made this right!!
The well is capped, the oil has stopped flowing!
We are the wonderful, caring corporate behemoth that we kept telling you small people we were...
The cap that we told you would hold is.....holding! OK, maybe the first or second ones didn't (or the 3rd through the 5th), but, as the saying goes in old Britannia, "the Sixth is a charm, good King Henry!"
So, yeah, we're damn bloody proud of ourselves for finally "getting it right," as our PR department conjured up in your rough-hewn colonial tongue to placate you savages. We expect now, since we have repaired this minor inconvenience, that you Yanks will have no objections to our poking more holes in your Gulf looking for petrol.
Despite the triflings of your silly little government, we have every confidence that the cap will continue to hold and that you forthwith cease and desist in your constant whining about every oil droplet that floats your way.
Yes, we know the pressure inside the well is rising; all perfectly normal, you see. The cap is designed and built to the most rigorous standards in the Empire.
So, light up those victory cigars, me hardies. A salute to the Empire!
What could possibly go wrong?????