Tuesday, May 4, 2010

FLA State Senator Shown Researching Porn For Upcoming Vote--Except There Ain't No Upcoming Vote About Porn

Bradentucky's own pillar of Republican family values, developer and, more or less as a sideline, state senator, Mike Bennett, was caught looking at nekkid wimmen on the floor of the Florida Senate on his state-owned laptop. Fortunately, nothing much was happening in the legislative chamber at the time--just the open debate on a pending controversial abortion bill. Yawn.......

Bennett, ever the politician (when he's not a developer) proclaimed his innocence by explaining, "I was just sitting there, bored, as they were debating the abortion bill." Blah, blah, blah, abortion, blah, blah, women's rights, blah, blah.... Hopefully, doing the people's business in the Florida Senate for which he was elected and for which he is being paid with taxpayer money gets a little more lively in the future, so as to keep Sen. Bennett's attention.

Perhaps, if the legislators wore bikinis--------no, God, no; forget that!!! Ewwww, ewwww, ewwwwwwww!

Reading the comments accompanying the story in The Sunshine News, a business/political newspaper, it's readily apparent that it is a left-wing commie socialist rag that has no business besmirching the stellar reputation of a true statesman like Sen. Bennett. Commenters debate the definition of porn, how long he actually looked at it, whether it was intentional and the relief that "at least, it wasn't kiddie porn." Whew........ I know I feel better now.

Bennett claims it was an email from a woman "who happens to be a former court administrator." As opposed to being an email sent by a guy with slick-backed hair and a pencil mustache named Vinnie The Weasel, who runs one of the seedy strip clubs on Rt. 41 south of Bradenton. Although, that would make him a constituent of the Senator, so there'd be that angle, at least.

No word on whether the "former court administrator" now works as an attorney for the SEC.

Senate spokesflak, Jaryn Emhof, offered the perfectly logical defense of Bennett, saying, "There was some confusion about an email he received. He thought it was an email about an item being debated on the Senate floor. As soon as he realized it wasn't he closed the page."

Hold on----I'm trying to make a reasonable connection between a picture of four bikini-clad women and the debate on abortion.

Still thinking..........

I'm having better luck with the other video Bennett is seen viewing, obviously an attempt to keep his razor-sharp mind in hyper-overdrive to weigh in on the gravely-important legislative proceedings of the highly-respected Florida Senate.

The dog on the beach.

Bennett will, no doubt, introduce legislation to import specially-bred dogs from Lithuania that have the ability to lap up crude oil and then pee it back into 55-gallon drums, fully refined and ready for use as high-quality jet fuel. Those mutts will come in mighty handy when that slick from BP's Deepwater ClusterFuck or whatever they called that exploding rig out in the Gulf, currently spewing barrels upon barrels of crude daily into our offshore waters, reaches the beaches of Anna Maria, Bradenton Beach and other areas of Sen. Bennett's district.

I wonder if the four bikini babes could be Lithuanian???

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