Monday, August 2, 2010

Sarasota Tea Party Upset That Obama Is Not Coming To Suncoast; Plans To Protest Visit Foiled

Sarasota's very own boiling pot of the Tea Party movement is loudly complaining that Pres. Obama will not be coming to the Suncoast for his 2-day Gulfcoast promotional event, instead going to the Panhandle beaches where oil actually made landfall.

Leading the vitriolic charge was a new face in the mix of wild-eyed seniors, gun-toting hawks and every other Sarasota eccentric who is only about one Prozac away from driving their Lexus into a crowd of suspected liberals, which comprises the local chapter of the Tea Party Patriots is noted Sarasota blogger, bon vivant, and former voice of reason, MC Coolidge.  Her recent blog posting outlines her ignominious descent into a tri-cornered-hat-wearing seething cauldron of contempt, bitterness and malicious viciousness, even going so far as to rename her cats "Concord", "Bunker Hill" and "Lexington."

"My given name is Mary-Catherine Coolidge, but from this day hence, I shall be known as Mary-Calvin Coolidge, reflecting my heritage as a descendant of our 30th president, who was known for his strike-breaking, union busting, immigration-restricting, income-tax reducing, Communist-hating, regulation-ending, pro-business policies.  Silent Cal put the "roar" into the "Roaring Twenties," just like George Bush did in the boom years of the mid-2000s.  Blame the Depression on Hoover and the Recesssion on Obama."

"We wanted that little weasel, Obama, to come to the Suncoast so we could criticize his coming to the Suncoast!" she explained in the rhetoric on which the Tea Party thrives.  "We wanted him to bring his family here on vacation so we could lambaste him for taking a vacation.  We were counting on him spending a few idyllic days here promoting the beaches and amenities of our beautiful hometown so we could rip into him for coming here for a photo op."

When it was pointed out that she had just twisted all logic into a pretzel and then broken it into pieces, she relied on that tried and true Tea Party argument:  repeat the same thing again, only LOUDER!!!


  1. You should be ashamed writing stuff such as this...I almost peed in my pantaloons laughing and my bride has already done the day's washing.

    Yours is a most entertaining and hilarious blog. I love it!

  2. Too bad you couldn't make it up to the Darwinfish Fry... you would have fit right in!

  3. Oracle, I'm ashamed of most everything I do in life, writing this crap is only one of them. And you should be ashamed for reading it, esp. dressed in pantaloons!

    And, Bluz, sorry I couldn't be at the fish fry, too. Damn parole board got no sense of humor about leaving the state.