Captain's Orders

Captain's tip of the day: DON'T call 911 and tell them you have a pipe bomb just because you're pissed off at your dad.

Especially if you're 40 years old.

And you're already on probation.

The next time you feel one of these moments coming on Gordy, call somebody--anybody--besides 911. And skip the part about the pipe bomb. Just tell them that you're "frustrated."

And that your happy medicine's run out.

Captain Obvious