Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Obama Stuns Nation With Appointment of New GM CEO

President Obama turned the automotive business upside down again this morning with his direct appointment of yet another new CEO for troubled car maker General Motors. Citing the lack of progress from recently-promoted Fritz Henderson, the President announced that he was personally naming Julio Osegueda to helm the ailing company.

"I met Mr. Osegueda in Ft. Myers some months back and was overwhelmed with his infectious enthusiasm and, when this opportunity presented itself, I knew that he was my guy," said the President. "Change is coming to America and it's going to begin with GM."

Mr. Osegueda, a Ft. Myers college student and fast food worker, became a media sensation following his question to Mr. Obama at a town hall meeting in February.

Experts in the business sector were stunned with the announcement. Jim Cramer had to be sedated following the news and Rick Santelli stormed off the floor of the NY Stock Exchange and has not been heard from since.

When asked by CNN this morning how he reacted to Pres. Obama's call offering him the job, Mr. Osegueda said, "I remember saying 'Oh this is such a blessing to talk to you Mr. President. Thank you for taking time out of your day. Oh gracious God thank you so much.'"

Ousted CEO, Fritz Henderson, doesn't think he'll last long in the job. "Wait 'til this kid finds out that the Big Three CEOs have agreed to take a $1 per year salary. He'll go running back to McDonald's and his $8.00 an hour paycheck."

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