Monday, July 13, 2009

Aerosmith Rocker In Sarasota Beach Blow-Up

Lead guitarist for rock legend Aerosmith, Joe Perry, was involved in a beachside brawl on Lido Key on Saturday afternoon.

Due to the last minute cancellation of a concert in Tampa, Perry, who maintains a home on Longboat Key, was in town over the weekend and, after reading an article about diving for the reefs, decided to volunteer the services of he and his wife.

Following the third dive of the day, witnesses say Perry exited the water in an agitated state. "Why is everybody bothering with hauling up this junk?" he asked. "We're never going to find it this way. What's wrong with you people?"

When Perry's wife, Billie, asked what he meant, Perry replied, "What do you think I'm talking about? The reefer, dude, the reefer. Isn't that why we're all here, to clean up on some reefer?"

Organizer Mark Rush (no relation to the rock group that bears his last name) tried to explain that they were there "to clean up the reef, not the reefer," at which time Perry flew into a rage.

"You've got to be kidding me? Billie, I can't believe I let you talk me into this. You knew all along this wasn't about weed, didn't you? I wasted a perfectly sober Saturday for this."

The day certainly wasn't a waste for Aerosmith fan, Wesley Pate, who made the drive from Atlanta to see the concert. After sharing the contents of whatever was in a brown paper that Pate had, Perry settled down and even autographed a guitar for the youngster, but only on the condition that Pate not sell it.

"I don't usually sign guitars, so if I see this one on eBay, I will hunt you down and I will beat you to death with this guitar. Got it, kid?" Visibly shaken, the 17-year old fan ran from the beach, clutching his own personal Sword of Damocles.

Billie Perry apologized for her husband's erratic behavior and said that he hasn't been the same since he joined fellow rocker Ted Nugent to support Republican John McCain in the election. "Most people don't know it, but Joe has been a hardcore Republican his entire life. How else do you think we were allowed to buy a house on Longboat Key?"

"Walk THIS way??"


  1. Joe never said any of that I was there.... Every word of that is a lie

  2. I am an avid Aerosmith fan, and this does NOT at all sound like something Joe Perry would say; nor speak to his wife Billie in this tone. Yeah right....