From the Associated Press
CODY, Wyoming - Wielding his chain saw as a weapon, a former U.S. Marine says he fought off a starving mountain lion that attacked him while he was camping with his wife and two toddlers in northwestern Wyoming.
Dustin Britton, a 32-year-old mechanic and ex-Marine, said he was alone cutting firewood about 100 feet from his campsite in the Shoshone National Forest when he saw the lion staring at him from some bushes.
Britton revved his 18-inch chain saw and tried to back away. But the 100-pound lion followed.
As the animal pounced, Britton raised his saw and met it head-on — a collision he said felt like a grown man running right into him.
"It batted me three or four times with its front paws and as quick as I hit it with that saw it just turned away," he said in a telephone interview with The Associated Press.
Britton later discovered he'd inflicted a gash on the lion's shoulder. He said he was surprised the damage wasn't worse.
"You would think if you hit an animal with a chain saw it would dig right in. I might as well have hit it with a hockey stick," he said.
The wounded animal retreated, leaving Britton with a only small puncture wound on his forearm.
Upon learning of this incident, Commandant of the Marine Corps, General James T. Conroy, issued this statement:
"On behalf of the United States Marines Corps, I apologize for this sad example of what a U. S. Marine should be. We understand that this gentleman is no longer in the Corps, which is fortunate for him. Because if he was, he would be given an immediate dishonorable discharge and drummed out of the service, never to be called a Marine again."
"For if he were a true Marine, he would have given his chainsaw TO the mountain lion and then bit ITS FUCKING HEAD OFF, PISSED DOWN ITS NECK AND HAD IT STUFFED SO HIS KIDS COULD SLEEP WITH IT!!!!"
"To have to resort to the use of any kind of weapon when facing down an emaciated, starving 100-pound weakling of a mountain lion is an embarrassment to the Corps. To try and "back away" from a perceived threat is an embarrassment to the Corps. To say that an encounter with a 100-pound mountain lion felt like "a grown man running right into him" is an embarrassment to the Corps. To say that "it batted me" is an embarrassment to the Corps. To say that you hit a mountain lion with a chain saw and "was surprised the damage wasn't worse" is an embarrassment to the Corps. To say that you "might as well have hit it with a hockey stick" is an embarrassment to the Corps. And to let an enemy retreat while suffering only a "small puncture wound" is A FUCKING EMBARRASSMENT TO THE CORPS!"
"I can assure you that the Marine Corps will be conducting a full and thorough investigation into this incident and if we find that any training he received while enlisted in the Marines contributed to this shameful behavior, that training shall be corrected at once to conform with the Marine code of conduct and better reflect the proud heritage of the United States Marine Corps. Semper Fi, Marines!"
"THIS AIN'T THE FUCKING BOY SCOUTS, YOU PINK PANTY-WEARIN,' MENSTRUAL CRAMP OF A MAGGOT; THIS IS THE FUCKING UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS! SEE IF YOU CAN TRY AND WRAP YOUR PINT-SIZED PEA BRAIN AROUND THAT, MISS MORNING GLORY. HOO-RAH."