Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Casey Anthony Threatens Lawsuit; Complains That Authorities Kept Her From Getting Mother's Day Presents, Visits

Accused killer mom, Casey Anthony, has charged that officials of the Orange County lock-up deprived her of receiving any Mother's Day gifts or visitations.

"I can't believe the gall of those people," Anthony complained. "Like, it's Mother's Day and, like, I didn't get one present---not even, like, a card or a phone call. Like, what's up with that? I mean, not even one hot guy showed up to see me. I'm a Mom, you know. Shouldn't somebody have, like, taken me out to dinner or a strip club or something? I mean, like, this is bullshit. I just can't believe, like, the way I'm being treated, while the real killer, that babysitter whose, like, name escapes me at the moment, is, like, probably out partying."

The Orange County Sheriff's Dept. has officially denied withholding any "gifts, visitations, written correspondence or telephone conversations on Mother's Day or any other day for Inmate 8778988."

Said one unidentified deputy, "I don't get her beef. She ain't exactly a poster girl for a Hallmark moment, you know?"

"Like, Mother's Day dinner was beans and wienies--again. Isn't that, like, cruel and unusual punishment?"

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