Thursday, May 7, 2009

Sarasota Man To Be Questioned In Death Of Julius Caesar

Roman authorities have expressed interest in the trial of Sarasota murder suspect, Elton Murphy, in connection with the March 15, 44 B.C., murder of Gaius Julius Caesar, the Pontifex Maximus of Rome.

During Murphy's trial for the horrific murder of art gallery owner, Joyce Wishart, his defense attorneys have angled for an insanity plea, citing the defendant's multiple personalities, one of which is "The Lord God Elton Brutus Murphy," who has a DNA link to God and thousands of followers. These claims are questionable, however, since both God and his followers have been noticeably absent from his trial.

Murphy also claims to have participated in the assassination of the Roman emperor Caesar. While offically a 'closed case,' Roman authorities feel that Murphy may have specific knowledge of the crime scene, making him a "person of interest."

The Republic of Rome has sent two centurions to Sarasota to question the suspect. Police investigator, Sgt. Josephus Fridaycus, told reporters outside the courthouse today, "While we know that Caesar was stabbed to death by members of the Roman Senate, we hope Mr. Murphy will be able to shed some light on just exactly who the ringleaders were. Conventional wisdom has always pointed to Tillius Cimber and Servilius Casca, with Marcus Junius Brutus in a lesser role. Tabloid writer, William Shakespeare, was the one who cast Brutus in a more central role, catapaulting him to fame. We just want the facts, ma'am."
"Et tu, rabidus vir?"

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