Said one soon-to-be former North Trail cocaine dealer, "How the hell do I compete with 'healthy chocolate?' All my steady customers are giving up blow for this new shit. What do I do now--apply for a bailout?"
Harvard economist, Dr. Chalfont Bedminster, states simply, "Quite frankly, this changes everything. Drug traffickers have stopped shooting up US-Mexican border towns, the economies of Columbia, Panama and other coca-producing countries are collapsing and the incredible profits reaped by the Taliban from the poppy fields of Afghanistan have suddenly dried up, effectively putting those terrorists out of business."
'Healthy chocolate' has been proven to:
- prevent cavities,
- cure diabetes,
- cure osteoporosis,
- prevent ear and upper respiratory infections,
- prevent Candida yeast infections,
- cure athlete's foot,
- is beneficial to pregnant or nursing women.
Leading demographers foresee a precipitous drop in the world birth rate, as well.