Soon to be ex-RNC chairman Michael Steele, in a heartwarming display of fealty to the King of the Republican Party, genuflected, knelt and solemnly kissed the large gold ring of His Majesty, Rush Limbaugh. The royal sniffed at this gesture, looking bored, while Steele continued groveling in his prostate position.
"Lord, forgive my transgressions," wailed Steele, using the same tried and true Biblical apology that has worked so many times for television evangelists, once they have been caught with their hand in the till or their wee willie winkie in whomever it shouldn't have been in.
I'm sure it is now painfully apparent to even Mr. Steele that Lord Limbaugh is not an entertainer. The truth is, he's not even that entertaining anymore.
Limbaugh is not only King of the Republican Party, he is the Republican Party. He has no political aspirations, since he wouldn't want to take a pay cut if he was elected President. Instead, he is the man who would be King. Of the world.
In a rush to go one Steele one better, Limbaugh loyalists are lining up to kiss his rather generous behind. The Sarasota chapter of Red County, ashamed that Florida's governor, Charlie Crist, has allowed himself to be photographed with Pres. Barack Obama, is pushing for legislation to rename the state 'Limbaughiana.'
Limbaugh's likeness has been proposed for inclusion on all currency, as well as replacing the iconic statue of Lincoln in the Lincoln Memorial.
His hometown of Cape Girardeau, MO, has become the destination of pilgrims nationwide, as have the sites of many of his early miracles, including West Palm Beach, where he turned fake prescriptions into Oxycontin, yet the Philistines did not smite him for his sin. Alleluia!
"And it came to pass that in those days, he was known by the name of Jeff Christie. For he was an abomination unto the ears."