Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Karma Bites Richmond Woman in Ass: "So What," You Ask?

Robin Starr, the CEO of the Richmond Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, was bitten directly on the ass by karma recently. Ms. Starr, champion of animals everywhere, took her beloved 16-year-old, blind and deaf dog, Louie, to work with her the other day, as is often her custom. Only this time, she "forgot" to take Louie actually into work with her, leaving him in her car for four hours, while the temperature in Richmond climbed into the low 90s that day by noon.

When Ms. Starr returned to her politically-correct Volvo station wagon to go for lunch at, undoubtedly, some trendy, upscale bistro that serves only free-range chicken and tofu, she noticed her faithful Louie laying in a pool of drool. She carried limp Louie into the SPCA clinic for treatment, but was referred to another emergency veterinary clinic, where lifeless Louie was pronounced 'well done' and a small plastic burgundy marker was stuck in Louie's hindquarters.

The Richmond Times-Dispatch reported that, at a press conference, Ms. Starr's husband, Ed, did what all good husbands should do--immediately took the blame for the incident. Ms. Starr stood by and let him. "I just forgot . . . and didn’t think about it until I got this frantic phone call from Robin. I knew immediately what I had done," he said.

Attaboy, Ed.

Since coming to the Richmond SPCA, Ms. Starr had been instrumental in the indictments of several local residents who had been charged with cruelty and animal neglect that led to animal deaths.

She is also an outspoken critic of Michael Vick and his role in a Virginia dogfighting ring.

In other news, Ms. Starr, in light of these tragic events, is expected to be offered a starting quarterback position with an, as of yet, unnamed professional football team.

The book on Robin Starr is that she has trouble seeing the field, but scrambles well to buy time for completions; lacks fundamental football skills, but improvises to make things happen; can appear overwhelmed at times on the field, but has great locker room presence; lacks arm strength, but possesses foot speed and agility; is often viewed as short-tempered with teammates, but it is generally considered that her bark is worse than her bite. Should be a great matchup when she plays the Eagles and Michael Vick.

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