Monday, September 14, 2009

Fearless Federal Agent Corrals Outlaw Gang In North Port

Lawman Deftly Avoids Gunplay in Thrilling Arrest of Desperado!

The Miller Gang, which had struck terror in the hearts of law-abiding citizenry everywhere, will soon face the stern visage of Lady Justice. The pistoleros, operating beyond the reach of lawmen in North Port, known locally as the 'town that couldn't be tamed', were brought low by the relentless pursuit of Norman "The Long Arm of the Law" Azan, a Federal officer.

According to eyewitness reports from the scene, Mr. Azan and his lovely wife were taking a leisurely Sunday evening carriage ride on the outskirts of town on Chamberlain Road. When they passed the old Miller homestead, they were accosted by a gun-wielding youth. Mr. Azan leapt from his conveyance and subdued the young brigand, as well as his two accomplices. Only after disarming the lad did Mr. Azan realize that the villain's firearm was in a non-functioning condition.

Upon hearing the commotion, the gristly, gray-haired mother of the boy beset upon Mr. Azan and demanded the return of the youngster's pistol. Just then, the eagle-eyed lawman, beseiged on all quarters by every manner of hostile personages, noted the quick exit from the ramshackle cabin by Old Man Miller. He went round his buckboard and retrieved what is believed to have been a stick used to strike the baseball, which is used in the game of the same name, as the Miller boy plays for the local nine in happier days.

Old Man Miller came at the unflappable federal man, brandishing his 'bat' in a most threatening fashion, ordering Mr. Azan to remove himself from his property forthwith and without delay. Mr. Azan, never one to back down from a fracas, declared himself to be a federal agent and offered his badge as proof of his claim, all the while standing his ground with a stubborn tenacity borne of the moral rectitude that comes with being a instument of the law.

In the meanwhile, the elder Miller, veritably enraged by the events and unable to be calmed by the either the entreaties of his family members present or the unflinching demeanor of Mr. Azan, continued to menace the agent. Mrs. Azan, nearly swooning from the excitement and the gravity of the situation, rushed to enlist the aid of neighbors to help defuse the powderkeg of emotion. One willing Good Samaritan had just had a telephone installed in his abode and was in contact with the local constabulary straightaway.

Federal agent Azan, imperturbable and unexcitable, continued to stare down the peril he faced at the hands of the increasingly-agitated Mr. Miller. Just when Mr. Azan was about to unleash his trusty Navy Colt revolver from its resting place upon his hip and let loose the fire and death pent up therein, several members of a hastily-formed posse thundered down the well-worn ruts of Chamberlain Road and pulled up abruptly at the scene of the encounter.

The local sheriff, following a brief conversation with Agent Azan and the verification of his proffered law enforcement credentials, ordered Mr. Miller to cease and desist and took him into custody by placing the shackles of righteousness upon his wrists. Despite the protests of Miller's wife and son, he was transported to the hoosegow in North Port, where he shall remain ensconced until the circuit judge rides this way again sometime in the autumn, when his intolerable behavior will be examined and adjudicated in a court of law.

Mr. Azan, long a credit to his badge, was hailed as a hero by his friends and neighbors. Said one, "This incident could have gone the way of that OK Corral skirmish out West. Fortunately, our Mr. Azan is not as bloodthirsty or violent as are the Earp brothers and preferred to use his wit and steely resolve to quell the volatile Mr. Miller, rather than more sanguinary means."

Newspapers carried the account of the action and we suspect that flinty Mr. Azan will soon be the hero of every school child throughout the land, praised for his devotion to duty and resourcefulness under fire and his exploits, surely the subject of dime novels to come, will become legendary in the annals of the domestication of North Port.

Actual photograph of Kid Miller, former Scourge of North Port

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