Sarasota's Resident Loose Cannon (HA!), Rich Swier, Wants To End Gun Violence By Giving Everybody Guns. No, Really, That's Not A Joke.

Well, the fall shipment of crazy must have arrived in local stores because Sarasota's resident windbag, Rich "If You Don't Agree With Me, I'LL YELL LOUDER!" Swier, has already gotten his quota. And then some.

In a Sarasota Herald-Tribune op-ed piece regarding the recent spate of murders in Newtown, which is the red-headed step-child of the City of Sarasota, the author deduced that "illegal guns, drugs and gang activity seem to play significant roles in much of the violence" and that "to stem the shootings, stem the source: the all-too-easy flow of weapons into the wrong hands." Which to me, sounds like pretty straightforward stuff.

It's your typical S H-T non-controversial (who would argue with ending the near-nightly violence in a neighborhood?) editorial that only expresses some pollyanna banalities. Like "better parenting, better educational achievement, better economic opportunity and a better cultural attitude" would do the trick. Ya think????

But when it comes to non-controversial, feel-good ideas, our man Rich Swier can find a sinister, anti-American conspiracy in the best of them. To wit, his comment regarding the editorial:

"........I just watched a video of black gang members beating each other with 2x4s in Chicago. So what do we do? 2x4s are easy to get and cost nothing, do we outlaw 2x4s? Of course not, the problem is a lack of the rule of law in Newtown, so what else is new. Drugs, single parent homes, and a high rate of HIV/AIDS due to male sex with males makes Newtown a deadly place.

I was at the Bullet hole several months ago and watched a black woman buying a gun to protect herself. What we need to do is arm the citizens of Newtown like we did in Baghdad. That is the solution.

If the police can't handle the violence perhaps an armed citizenry can. That is what the Second Amendment is all about.

I am speechless. Almost.

When 2x4s kill as many people as do guns, then give me a call.

I'm not sure how a high rate of HIV/AIDS factors into people shooting other people, but the guy has a doctorate in something or other, so he must be right. Right?

And, as an aside to all you guys out there traveling through Newtown, apparently it's prudent to never bend over to tie your shoes there.

But perhaps the craziest thing he writes--and he writes some crazy shit--is that the way to curb the gun violence in Newtown is to give everybody there GUNS! Like we did in Baghdad. (We did?) Somehow, I think I'd feel safer walking through Newtown than I would walking through Baghdad, but, hey, that's just me.

His last "thought"--and I'm being generous here--is to pretty much foment vigilantism, calling the police ineffective and deciding that flooding the neighborhood with guns will handle the situation, because "that's what the Second Amendment is all about."

OK, I'm calling "bullshit" on that one.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Everybody conveniently forgets about the "well-regulated Militia" part and only has the "keep and bear Arms" part tattooed on their hineys. We already have a "well-regulated Militia" called the National Guard. And by "well-regulated," our forefathers were not referencing daily bowel movements.

Now, I wonder what could have gotten Rich Swier so riled up. Maybe he feeling his oats with his recent victory in the battle of "Unconditional Surrender." Maybe he's gearing up for his "Drill, Baby, Drill" off the Florida coast campaign.

Or maybe just hearing about the upcoming release of "Going Rogue" by Sarah Palin got his juices flowing. Yee-haw.