Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Lakewood Ranch Baseball Bad-Boy In Hot Water Again After Locker Room Brawl With Golf Legend

Lakewood Ranch H.S. graduate and and professional baseball player, Lastings Milledge, stirred up controversy again last night in Pittsburgh, PA, with, what some are calling, an unprovoked attack on golf superstar, Arnold Palmer.

Milledge, now an outfielder for the Pittsburgh Pirates after being traded from the Washington Nationals after being traded from the New York Mets, has had a long-standing reputation for being a troublemaker and disruptive player. Last night's incident will certainly go a long way in reinforcing that perception.

Sources indicate that prior to last night's baseball game, Palmer, who was born and raised near Pittsburgh and is still considered a favorite son, was at the stadium to be feted by the city on the occasion of his 80th birthday. While on a pre-game tour of the clubhouse, Palmer was meeting the players and approached Milledge near his locker.

Milledge, relaxing and listening to his iPod, was visibly annoyed with the unwelcome interruption and punched the surprised octogenarian in the stomach. Palmer, to his credit, took the punch, staggered a step or two backwards, then lunged at the younger aggressor.

"I'll kick your ass, you little bastard," shouted Palmer, dropping the baseball star with a deadly one-two combination. "Who's your daddy, now, Mr. Bad-Ass 'Cause I've Got Dreadlocks?" said Palmer, standing over the prone Milledge. Shock and disbelief turned to cheers and handshakes all around by Milledge's teammates and on-lookeers alike. "And get a haircut."

The feisty golfing legend called Milledge a "cocky little son of a bitch" and said he would be wise to respect his elders in the future, before exiting the locker room to enjoy the planned birthday festivities and subsequent baseball game.

Said one unidentified Pirate player, "Look, I know we both play on the same team, but there's not a guy on this roster that didn't enjoy seeing Millhouse (his team nickname) get dropped like that. And I can guarantee you that there's a lot of guys still playing for Washington and the Mets that would have wanted to do it themselves, not to mention the fans in those places. It was just great to see a hometown legend put that punk-ass in his place."

Milledge was a last minute scratch for the local nine, due to a "non-baseball-related injury," according the the official press release.

Milledge sucker punches golf great, Arnie Palmer, in stomach, before being knocked unconscious by the King of Swing. Next time, Lastings, you should try the old 'hit-and-run.'

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