Monday, September 14, 2009

Kanye West Being Courted By Republicans After VMA Smackdown Of Socialist Taylor Swift

Music industry superstar, Kanye West, took a page right out of the GOP playbook last night when he crashed the stage while teen angel, Taylor Swift, was beginning her acceptance speech for winning an award for best female video. West, obviously trying to get laid by Beyonce, grabbed the microphone from the bewildered Swift and ranted that Beyonce should have gotten the award.

Following the awards show, West apologized for his interruption. When pressed by reporters, West said defiantly, " "I am not going to apologize again. I've apologized one time. The apology was accepted by Taylor Swift and by the vice president, who I know," he said. Vice-President Biden allowed that he knew the controversial rapper, saying, "We chilled together for a time, you know, doing the party circuit, chasing the ladies. He was in my crew 'til we both went our own ways, he went into the seedy world of gangsta rap and thug hip-hop, while I went to the dark side--politics."

West said of his outburst that he was overcome with the emotion of the moment, but still believes that Swift was about to misstate the facts. "I didn't want the young people of America to be subjected to her socialist propaganda and lies."

"Gimme that microphone, you lying Communist bitch!"

Florida Republican Party chairman Jim Greer immediately West's defense, saying that he, too, didn't want Swift to "indoctrinate America's children to her socialist agenda." He also made West an honorary Florida Republican and issued him his own party credit card. (Actually, it was Ray Sansom's old card, but Greer scratched out his name and wrote in West's.)

Greer said he was also extending an invitation to join the state's chapter of the GOP to tennis star, Serena Williams. Said Greer, "We never even considered asking Williams to join us until that show she put on at the US Open, shouting and cursing at the line judge. That girl has got some mouth on her."

Newest GOP media darling, Joe "LOOK AT ME" West (R-S.C.), thought that West had his heart in the right place. "If I thought I could have gotten past that mean, old bitch Pelosi, I would have done the same thing by grabbing the microphone from Obama and would have gone off on him, right then and there. But I knew Pelosi would have tackled me before I got within 20 feet of her guy. You saw the look she shot at me when I had the balls to speak up for the truth. I would have gotten my ass kicked. Fortunately, I have excellent health care as a Congressman....."

West is expected to make the rounds of the conservative talk shows today, including Limbaugh, Beck, Hannity and the rest. Said West, "I wish I could have made it to DC over the weekend to march with my Tea Party homies, but that Nazi Taylor Swift had to be stopped and I knew that I had to do it."

Why doesn't somebody interrupt these lunatics? "No tissue paper 'til the end of the year?" Who knew?


  1. Way to capture the madness!

  2. What crap! Being rude and stupid doesn't counter being naive and undereducated. Sorry, but all of y'all need to get a good dose of reality ranch!

  3. Calling you an idiot would be a compliment

  4. Calling me an idiot would be a compliment?

    Perhaps. But screaming in my face that I'm a Godless, socialist Hitler while clutching a copy of the Constitution in one hand and your American-made Smith & Wesson in your other hand would be more in keeping with your character, no?