Proposed Naval Gunnery Range In Collier County

Pentagon officials today acknowledged the existence of what was heretofore a top secret military base near Marco Island. The site, according to anonymous sources at the Dept. of the Navy, was kept under wraps because it was used by the Navy SEAL program as a weapons proficiency testing area.

The Navy's best and brightest were brought here to receive training in small arms use, especially in the practice of shooting from a moving water craft, trying to hit an airborne target, also known as 'wing shooting.'

Since the presence of the base has come to light, several militant environmental groups have begun protesting, in the hopes of closing the testing range. So far, only birds have been killed.

From a distance, in a moving boat, at dusk and after a couple beers, they look like ducks......

......but they probably still taste like chicken."